Carry On Foul
by Cadeja
Summary: "One of us is getting checked out,so if you don't want to spend the rest of night greeting strangers I'd suggest you play along.Try to look like a couple, you know." I silently concede the point.I nearly scoff at how good Cao Pi's at pretending.AU,R18,PxY
1. Bad Romance, I want your

Bad Romance

I'll kill that Zhang He. The throbbing of music and strobes would be more than enough to disorient even the hardiest of men. I, however, am in a very compromised position. Those small pastel tablets He offered me at the beginning of the night were apparently quite a different type of drug than what I expected. They have long since hit my nervous system full force. I turn in a panic as an unrecognizable form momentarily presses against me. In my disconcerted and disconnected state I curse and mutter at all the events that lead to this: the extra hours and work I put into ensuring a good quarterly report for Wei, Cao Pi's (unwarranted) arrogance upon seeing that profit. Another obscured form presses on me and I jerk toward the counter; the maledictions being thrown around my mind intensify. I damn everyone at that blasted firm for having gotten so obscenely happy over our business that the fools insisted on going out celebrating. I berate myself and everyone else for not raising an objection when Zhang He suggested a club . I curse Cao Pi for green lighting the whole damn thing. I look around and see blurs, realizing the death wish I had when I got in a car with He and Pi. I'm in danger? There is no recourse left but to start yelling out the Wei officers names. When Cao Pi grabs my shoulder I nearly fall from the stool. I spin my body to find his face quite close to mine. His mouth is moving but it's all drown out by the music booming through the air. The noise is of that ubiquitous singer, the one who's wardrobe makes Zhang He seem demure. I see Cao Pi's mouth move more quickly and yet only thing I hear is a woman singing about some card game. I see Cao Pi's mouth press shut, and he grabs my arm and yanks me from the stool. He pulls me through a kaleidoscope of a crowd to put us both at a dimly lit table and chairs in an alcove. Cao Pi pushes me into the seat furthest in, sits himself and turns to address me again. Before he can speak I cut him off. "Where are we? What club I mean?" I think he moves closer, I can't tell as my eyes won't focus. He begins to speak again, slower and loud: "Zhang He's usual one. If you want the name you'll have to ask him. What happened to you? You okay?" I slide down in my seat and Pi's arm somehow appears around my shoulder. My mind's blank as I formulate that urgent question for him: "are we near my place? Take me home. Now."

Pi shifts to place his mouth by my ear, to be heard over the din. "No, Yi. If I walk out of here with you like this I'll have to put up with a rumor mill about how I drugged and took advantage of my chief financial officer. Now calm down and relax." I try to jerk away but manage only an uncoordinated movement before responding to Pi. "And yet you decided that having He drag us all to a club was a _ good_ idea?"

Pi sighs and moves closer, pressing me to him. Cao Pi is rather lucky I'm this out of the world. He starts rubbing my shoulders and moves to speak into my ear, again. "One of us is getting checked out, so if you don't want to spend the rest of night greeting strangers I'd suggest you play along. Try to look like a couple, you know." I silently concede the point and let my weight rest on him as my strength and coordination give way to the chemical in my blood. I nearly scoff at how good Cao Pi is at pretending when that _noise_ starts blaring again.

_I want your love and all your lover's revenge. _

_You and me could write  
a bad romance. Want your bad romance. _

_Caught in a bad romance._

The moment that singer comes to this state I'm strangling her. I have to tell Cao Pi. "Pi, go shut that noise off. It's killing me; Zhang He already plays her nonstop,_ at the office on the speakers_. Get fucking rid of her." Cao Pi deadpans, "the PA is the club's." "Then pay them to shut it off." Once again, in his flat tone of voice: "they'd lose their business for the night, and that's a huge sum, so no. You're already drugged; can't you just sleep through it?" Cao Pi's a bitch. I scoff. Pi asks if I'd want a drink to calm my nerves. I point out that given my intoxicated state his offer seems like a thinly veiled attempt to kill me. Pi runs his hand through my hair and starts massaging my back. Everything else seems a disconcerted mess; damn Pi, damn He and his pill. I pray I won'tremember this tomorrow morning.

* * *

Ah, yeah: a Lady Gaga themed chapter! Sima's a bit OC, but it's _too_ tempting to put a dazed Sima in a night club.


	2. Animal Spirits

Animal Spirits

His door is unlocked. Yi's apartment is in a manicured and secure part of the city. That doesn't stop me from feeling frustration at the Xiahou brothers for having been careless when taking Yi home, and at Yi for leaving himself vulnerable. I push the door open and go to his living room. I know the floor plan even if I don't recognize his new decor. His collection of old Chinese fans is now displayed prominently atop the shelf Yi's tomes are kept at. The rest of the living room is a sparse clean slate, save for some foreign curios. I get to the kitchen, set coffee to percolate. The dining table's such a contrast to the last room. Yi might as well be using data sets, academic journals and _The Economist _to decorate. _That_ is the Yi I'm used to. I call his name and get no response whatsoever . Once again, nothing's off. He leaves me no choice at times. I go to open the door of his bedroom and see he has been watching the birds this whole time. I force a cough. He takes the queue and throws a glance over his shoulder to meet me. His lips purse as he speaks:  
"You should knock, or not visit uninvited on a Saturday." "I thought I'd check on you." "As my boss? Isn't that unusual for you?"  
Sima makes things so much more difficult than they need to be, for the both of us. I run a hand through my hair, trying to calculate my next move on him. I close the distance between myself and his window.

The sight is something of a surprise. "Yi, those crows are breaking into a storage box of yours. Do you _need_ my help getting an exterminator?" "The feed is for them ."  
Sima's voice comes cold as I turn to watch him speak, sitting up-right with those aubergine bed sheets pulled down, leaving his chest and shoulders bear. "I leave their meals in that latch box, they then figure it out and feed themselves."  
He returns to looking out the window. I sit on his bed with him. Yi doesn't look at me but speaks softly, rescaling distant facts about crow's social organization and use of tools.  
"They're actually quite intelligent, the crows I mean." Yi's inky mane rests on his shoulder rustling as he speaks, I reach out to run a hand through it. "Cao Pi?" I move closer, he doesn't move away. In seconds I chuckle and explain myself.  
"Sima, I never would have imagined you to have pets. Nothing about you has the tenderness to take care of a living thing." Now he snorts and quickly retorts,"I had a cat". My hand remains at his shoulder. Yi shifts his gaze to it before he speaks again.  
"Why are you here Pi?" The voice is softer but no warmer. Yi's such an intelligent man that he should know better than to waste our time with these games. No, I'm sure that's why he tests me.  
I answer accordingly: "I wanted to be sure you were well, after last night." I sound firm,certain appearances matter.  
"And that means you can trespass into my private residence?" I can't be bothered to deal with this again.  
"Yi, get dressed so we can start the day." Now Yi doesn't bother to hide his annoyance.  
"Sir, I am not at work right now." He'll concede soon. I stand to exit. "I'll be at your dining room checking on those papers you have."  
These shows of force can sometimes be quite important, for all human behavior is ultimately driven by animal spirits.

* * *

The warm steam and water cloud my mind enough that I can, for a moment, forget whom just let himself into my apartment. If I hurry I may well be out before Pi misplaces my papers, if I delay his short fuse may well be burnt out making him exit. I weigh the possible outcomes and can't quite decide, which is unusual for me. I furrow my brow, leaning to feel the contrast between the ceramic tile and the hot water rushing over my body. Some of the malaise from the prior night still lingers in me. I stand to let the waters strip it away, exhaling.  
"Sima Yi! Hurry it up in there!" I shut the water and grab a towel, opening the door a crack to hiss at Pi to leave the hall so I can get to my room and dress. He is taken aback and fumbles before turning away and muttering alright. Pi's less than surprising surprise visits used to strain my wardrobe at first, when I treated them as formal occasions and dressed accordingly. Now, I pull from a drawer a somewhat drab charcoal and eggplant track suit I kept for jogging. My hair's still twisted from the water , but I best get out before Cao Pi tears apart my dining room worse than an untrained puppy.

* * *

I'm really trying to be patient, honestly. I've made myself some toast and settled down with one of the less esoteric publications Yi has. The artichoke spread he has is quite palatable, and the information is, too. I hear a door open and look up. Yi's wearing a slim dark purple shirt and tight fitting gray track pants that curve around him.  
This isn't a first, and I've concluded this is: 1) due to his frugal nature 2) his attempt to seduce me 3) a show of disrespect. The three ways this can play out are:1) I benefit from his thrift, again 2) he's a cock-tease 3) I'll lump this with two.  
"Its good to see you reading, Cao Pi." Yi says with a fine brow arched before seating himself across me. I close the article and nudge the plate of toast to Sima. He lifts one to peck at it, commenting at my misuse of his spread. I pour myself and him the coffee from the counter.  
"Sima Yi, could you prepare a forecast and budget some for charity? I signed Wei up to sponsor a concert and gala" I admit, glowing with pride over how I'm helping cure cancer and save orphans or something equally admirable. Sima stops sipping his coffee and glowers at me, apparently less impressed than I'd expected.  
"I already wrote the budget and I'm not reducing our capital purchases. If I reduce wages at the lower rungs moral goes down and people strike." Yi strategically takes sip from his mug  
"That just leaves us. Every one at the office is already upset enough at my taking our finances seriously. When I cut their salaries for you, they'll hate _me_." Now he's glaring at me, trying to drill an answer.  
"...well, Yi, I'm thankful for all your work and sacrifice." I rise from my chair and push it in, going to stand by his front door and making a hasty retreat.

* * *

**animal spirits:**

_John Maynard Keynes_ explained the volatile expectations of investors and consequent volatility of investment as resulting from "animal spirits" – a herdlike mentality. See _Keynesian beauty contest_ for more discussion, and _efficient markets_ and _present value_ for contrast.

* * *

AN: Cao Pi, don't you know that austerity year is a terrible time for extravagant galas? Just look what happened to Prince Charles' car; Zhen Ji will get poked with a stick!


	3. Rational People

Rational People

Seeing my new goal, the most economic course of action would be to summon all my co-workers to the conference room and announce _our_ new cuts. However, I'd imagine there would be few things more dangerous than telling all of Wei's officers that their pay and bonuses are docked so I can fund _Pi's _party. But I've no will to do this for Pi's sake, and it would be safest to confront everyone one on one. Idiosyncratic as he is, Zhang He's sure to be the most supportive of any efforts I make.  
I practice that refrain as I get to his office, knock, hear a "Come in" and sit in front of him. He practically squeals out an excited "Yi".  
He's one of the few people that is actually always consistently happy to see me. That is odd given that my visits usually mean some critique over one inefficiency or another.  
"He, this is serious business so turn off that noise," he pouts and presses a remote's buttons with something of a flourish.  
"You're a bit moody, Yi. Are we in the red?" I exhale, preparing to account for my visit.  
"We're not taking losses... it's just that this weekend Cao Pi was at my place again and" I get cut off.  
"You two hooked up? You had a fight? It's going too fast? Too slow?" I take a moment to stare, bewildered, as He continues his barrage of random theories.  
"No. He asked me to redo the budget so he can sponsor a gala for his fellow wine snobs." Zhang He sighs and seems flippantly down cast.  
"So you're not opening up about your love life yet." I try to see if I can stare at him long enough to make that subject awkward. But this is He, so making him feel unease is daunting enough that I back down.  
"There's nothing to say, He. And this is actually very serious."  
"Of course, Yi, of course. Where do we start?"  
"Your pay's cut." I spit it out, quickly appending "to be fair so is everyone else's."  
"...Yi, I'm fine, but I think the rest of the office may kill you, which would be quite ugly." He says it slowly, wincing at the end for dramatic effect.  
"Yes, but our _prince_ isn't giving me a choice, and Cao Cao made that my boss." I don't bother hiding my distaste.  
"Prince? Is that your pet name for him?"  
"Zhang He!"  
"Sorry, sorry... Yi, the cuts will go over better if you try branding it as some sort of charity budget that we all get a turn at. You understand; have it look like an office democracy." I can't help laughing a bit in relief. A bad nervous habit I know. "Thank you, He. Now all that left is to convince everyone that's true. Maybe you could give a speech or presentation? You're more amiable than I am."  
"Yi, how about a little trade. I can break this horrible news, in exchange for your Friday night." "I have to know the complete situation before I agree." After all it's vital I avoid any missteps, in light of recent events. Zhang He begins with a comical sigh, "Don't worry. It's just an art museum and a concert Zhen Ji's playing." I sigh in relief, "That seems like a favorable exchange, but why do you want to take me? Is this about your fear of my becoming a recluse?" I get up, dusting my coat's lapels.  
Zhang He arises, too, making exaggerated gestures of apology. "Certainly not!...Well, somewhat. It's just tragic to think that something gorgeous as you is alone." "If only that were the case, He. However, your statement may constitute sexual harassment."  
"You won't accuse?"  
"No, but Xiahou Dun and anyone else in legal _would flip_ if they heard it." And that is my good-bye, as I check my watch and rush out.

* * *

"Cao Pi, Sima just brought in some papers for you. It looks like he remade the budget. I'm surprised he got it wrong the first time." Zhen Ji speaks, standing at my door way, a ream of papers delicately in her hand. Without looking up from my computer, I know the budget I asked for is in.  
"Thanks, doll. You can leave it at the front." I hear the staccato of my fiance's steps. They're graceful, perhaps choreographed even. She speaks "Yes, sir" with infatuation woven through her voice.  
"Pi, do you want to go to brunch this Saturday? Diao Chan's coming to town Friday, so I thought I'd go see her then." And now my long held weekend arrangement is thrown of kilter. "That's great, dear, but you know I have meetings on Saturday. Sunday's better." Zhen nods and bids farewell then speaks a bit more and leaves, shutting the door gently behind her.

Now that she's gone I can see the report Yi prepared for me without appearing too eager. I've been wondering of it and it's author more than I would like.  
Yi has a way of finding the strangest things to cut, and a _unique_ ability in how he chooses to frame things. In all honesty I didn't know we had some of these expenses. (I wonder briefly when my father gave Xu Zhu a snack food stipend.) And the way of spinning things, that's brilliant. Classic Yi. He hasn't changed over the years really.  
Not in the way he sees me.  
Yi, whom I'm with every Saturday since I've been able to think up an excuse. And he's always known how I see him, I'm certain. He knows what thoughts I have of him, through out the day. The phone rings, and said man begins to mention I have an approaching meeting with a foreign acquisition. Yi then proceeds to coach me on points I'm certain I already knew. He continues even as I assure him such. Sima Yi is a constant fixture through out my day, either in person or in thought. I have, and always will, find Yi nauseatingly obstinate.


	4. Determinants of Demand: Tastes

Determinants of Demand: Tastes

Viewing art with He should be enriching. Impractical, yes, but enjoyable. I muse this to myself while walking the block or so from my car to the art museum he chose. The fact that it's early spring makes the walk by the glass office towers and posh housing more pleasant than I'd normally find it. Standing in line and staring at statuary are my companions. Zhen and He I had expected to see, Pi I had not. The prior two wave enthusiastically for me to cut in behind them. When I get there I hear them chatting on the merits and flaws of the museum's graphic design choices. I look over at Pi, whose standing behind me and examining a sheet of colored steel that gives the optical illusion of being a house. I choose to mind the reflecting pool in front of the massive white and glass building.

I wonder if this outing was meant to be an ambush on Pi, He or Ji's part. Or it could just be providence that a polyamorous young executive, his trophy fiancé, a mutual "Gay Best Friend" and the older man-who-works-for-daddy's-company that said executive may-or-may-not be trying to seduce end up together. I'm indulging in this ridiculous thought about Wei's internal politics as our group is ushered through a revolving door. The moment we get our tickets (emblazoned with a red HIGH), Zhen pulls Pi off to a small cafe the museum runs in its atrium, prattling all the way. That leaves me and He, who has by now walked to look out a glass wall; a glass wall that of all things shows a closed court yard with large fiber glass fruits and utensils on a fiber glass napkin. Still glanceing out the window, I ask "Zhang He , is there a reason you brought both Pi and Ji?" "No, I ... Invited Ji, and Pi was there during our conversation so he came along too. Is this uncomfortable for you? We could all split up the group?" He says the last part while looking toward me, his face souring. I am still trying to understand the reason for putting such expensive statues where there is such a limited viewing angle. Zhang He is too concerned about me for his own good. My lips twist up as I answer without looking away from the window: "No. This is not unsettling for me, though it is for Pi I imagine. I've always told the boy he needs to learn more about managing his relations in business. This'll be a lesson in tact for him." I tap my fingers against the glass, still trying to understand why those blasted fruit are there.

Zhen Ji returns seeming a bit to bubbly, taping He on the shoulder and then gesturing to a bag of macaroons and little sandwiches Pi holds up and a tray of teas she holds. Of all the talents useful in the world of business, Cao Pi has truly mastered the art of keeping a stoic expression _at all times_. I watch as Zhen and He take a seat at a Scandinavian styled chair and table set, before they take the initative in serving four even plates. Pi stands behind me, looking over my shoulder and using the fruit as his focal point. I look at the statuary again and can just imagine him behind me, his brows furrowed. And his hand wanting to ghost over my hip. "Sima Yi, are you going to come eat with everyone else?" Pi speaks by my ear. I clear my throat but don't turn to face him. "You're blocking my way Cao Pi." Pi moves aside and then follows me to take a seat at our group's table. Zhen and He greet us cordially, gesturing to our servings of neat little pastries and cups of Sencha green. For once He and Ji are the absolute experts, explaining and discussing the pop and high cultural significance of some later works of Dali that are on traveling exhibit here. Pi and I are reduced to students, asking occasional questions as we all eat. I can tolerate not being the authority, every once in a while.

* * *

This chapter should be longer, but university dictates that I never have the time to sit down and write it all at once. So this is part one of three.


	5. Determinants of Demand: Preferences

Determinants of Demand: Preferences

Sima Yi's standing behind me, while Zhen in front points at a modernist color block painting. Behind her back I look at Yi. He is certainly more amusing, with his brow knit in confusion. I'm sure he understands the monetary value of modern art, but not much else. I am sympathize. With that cute perplexed look on his face, I want to toy with him further. It's not often one gets to see a bewildered Sima.

* * *

That painting _is _very expensive. And that's all I can fathom. I scrunch my eyes, wondering if my sight somehow stops me from seeing some ingenious detail. I don't see the work in any greater clarity.  
No, all I see is Pi making kissy faces at me, with his fiancée five feet ahead of us; while we are in a public space, with a crowd about us, no less. That's just not right. Pi's too old to be trolling me in public. Maybe if I ignore him? Better yet, if I move away I won't be caught in whatever horror results when Ms Zhen catches him. I should go find He.  
Zhang He is over at another installation, a massive paper maché with stars over a desert. I walk to him. "Zhang He, I'm going to the Dali floor, it's bound to have cleared out by now. Come along."

* * *

And now Sima is gone. I should have guessed he might be skittish in this regard; courting him is more bothersome than trying to trap wild birds. My misassessment of that situation has now left me without my planned source of entertainment, meaning I now actually have to pay attention to the abstracts in front of me.  
I approach Zhen while she's still speaking of those paintings. She quiets when my arms wrap about her waist and my face rests by hers. I speak by her,  
"Zhen, dear, let's go see something with a beauty closer to yours. The classics, perhaps?" She responds that the only thing I've ever had to do was ask.  
I grab her hand and lead her off; there's one bullet avoided.

* * *

This is one of those intellectual experiences that can actually leave you feeling small minded. Or maybe that just me realizing that I barely know a thing of the art world. Zhang He and his unique brand and knowledge of high art _via _pop culture have been quite an asset this afternoon. We exit the exhibit by way of a gallery of tribute pieces. (The suspended steel mustache with steel pool floaties _is_ odd, amusing even.)  
He and I stop at a bench to observe the museum's map as we consider how to proceed. He points at a lower level: "Ah, the _belle epoque_ and _art noveu_ were another _splendid _period. Let's go there!" I fold the map up, arise and respond:  
"If you'd like it."

* * *

Zhen already went of, politely stating she had to get to a rehearsal with Diao Chan. Somewhere along the line I wondered to a gallery of ornate antique furniture and paintings. I'll text Yi to see if I can get some amusement out of this outing. Right then, I hear Zhang He before I see him. Sima must be near by.  
When I go over to the next room, where the sound is coming from, to find Zhang He highlighting the details of a massive carved wardrobe to Sima Yi.  
I intrude, as He is pointing to a vine curving by a young hunted fawn. My arms circle Yi's waist as he gives a soft _humph_, Zhang He stops, pauses a minute and then says _Ohhh, I'll leave you two alone then_. Yi quickly turns his head to watch He leave, dumbfounded. Yi says a dry:  
"What of your wife?"  
I speak by his neck. "My fiancée, and she's not here. Went of to meet Diao Chan."  
"_Ah, _I should have guessed that from your behavior."  
"Yi, we're still hours away from He and Ji's concert. Let's go eat."  
"I suppose that works. Where are you planing to go?"  
"There's an Indian place on one of the Peach Tree streets near here; we could walk and avoid the traffic, in this weather."  
Yi exhales and briefly leans back on me, before announcing _very well, let's go._

* * *

It's pride week in Atlanta. The big clue would be the rainbow flags on every restaurant and skyscraper, that and the crowds. It's in this context that Pi decided that for some reason I could get lost in the crowd and need to hold his hand, _with_ our fingers intertwined.  
I try to look at the sidewalk, or hide beneath the small brim of my derby hat. Pi flashes victory signs at any vaguely LGBT couple he sees. I almost imagine a heat building in my cheeks, but even I am not selfish enough to ruin the boy's fun.

Pi sees the restaurant he mentioned, a cafe Udipi, and turns us in.  
Cao Pi holds onto my shoulders, using the excuse that he is guiding me to a door I'm well capable of walking to. It's grating how blatant he can be, acting like this in public well knowing it will be misconstrued by any reasonable observer. And Zhang He had to run away again, leaving me to the wolves. Cao Pi gets us escorted by the greeter to a rather private alcove. After I finally manage to swat Pi's hands off, he simply pulls a chair out for me. I would love to tell Pi off for this, but I've no want to attract further attention. He sits across me. If it weren't for the vague sense of deception and coercion, this would be a nice outing. The cafe's bright colors ( no doubt a homage to the fare's country of origin) would be overwhelming if the lights weren't kept so dim. Cao Pi is somehow familiar to this cuisine, I am not. He takes over the task of ordering, I let him.

After the waiter leaves, Pi tries to strike up a conversation, leaning in and grinning smugly. "You're enjoying yourself, Sima."  
I retort, calmly: "That better have been a question." We're brought water and green and yellow chutneys with a strips of a novel flat bread to serve as appetizers.  
"No, Yi. _That_ was an observation." Pi uses the bread to eat of a green chutney. "So you know how I think,now, Pi?" I mimic him in eating the chutney and chuckle, despite myself.  
"You Caos are all too arrogant, but you're right this time." The food comes and we shift into banter about Liu Bei and the Sun family. _Nothing_ eases tension and creates camaraderie quite as well as expressing mutual derision for a third party. Which makes some questions easier to broach:  
"How long do you think _you _can keep this up? With me, Wei and Zhen? Your hubris isn't something I want to get dragged down by."  
"Zhen doesn't bother me. My father isn't exactly the type to care about this. And as for you, with your talent, I doubt the presses will think you just slept your way to the top. So where's the problem?"  
"I suppose the last part's somehow a compliment. Do you really think I'll take that bait?"  
"Maybe." I balk when something keeps running up my leg, before realizing that Pi's playing footsie.

* * *

Yay, Atlanta. We're awesome, not that this diminishes other cities awesomeness.

Part 2/3


	6. Determinants of Demand: Expectations R18

Determinants of Demand: Expectations

The curtain's being drawn back, in preparation for the first movement. The only one of my group not on stage is Sima Yi, whose siting by me in Wei's balcony at the Woodruff. _This_ is the setting in which to make full pursuit, in neutral territory and perfectly opaque privacy. If this goes well, and it will, the private balcony and royal treatment afforded by Wei's _generous_ donations to the arts will be well worth it. And the wine, the wine should help. Ideally, Yi's lucid but relaxed from the alcohol that was sold at the atrium. I suggested he take a champagne or fraixinet, Yi took a Spanish red. That stubborn man can't appreciate fine grapes.  
That chantress from up north starts to sing, to the backing of the orchestra. Diao Chan's noteworthy, but a close friend of Zhen and _intimate_ with some mafioso. Not worth the trouble.  
"So, Sima Yi. Have you made your decision yet?"  
He leans back and props his chin against his palm. "Of what? Your plan back at the cafe for dealing with Liu Bei? It's amusing, but not exactly legal. If you decide your willing to face arrest, I'll be there for you until the law arrives." He chuckles, at the mental image.  
I put a hand on his shoulder, "You know what I meant, _Yi_."  
He examines it before turning to me, "Ah, so you're referring to the offer to _facilitate_ your having an affair; I'll speak freely, seeing as I'm not on your dollar right now." Yi move closer, speaking in a hushed tone: "Tell me, what do you think you're doing. You are not some emperor, there exist limits to what you can get away with."  
Bothersome man. "And do you think you're the one to tell me them, Sima?"  
He leans further back and into me, with a sharp smile. "I think, as the one our firm's owner _Cao Cao_ charged with monitoring and advising you, yes. I can see what's going on in far greater clarity than you. Have you even considered your little relations in the context of Wei?"  
"I suspect this isn't the type of advise my father hired you for." Sima Yi ignores my statement.  
"Zhen is my coworker, how do you think she'll take the fact I've been with her betrothed? Even if she's just _your_ administrative assistant, those types of office politics would damage Wei's success, and mine."  
"I haven't bedded you." My tone comes colder than I'd want. Yi chuckles and purposefully leans to my ear:  
"Convince Zhen."  
I chuckle myself; "Is that all your worried of Yi? Zhen knows I cheat, I was too young when I got engaged with her."  
Now he pulls back, distant enough to view me:  
"Is this all conquest for you? You want to prove you can have your super model wife _and_ that you're brilliant enough to play me into getting bent over and fucked by you? Sorry if I'm saying anything too crass, _sir_. It must be the wine."  
There's a chink in Yi's verbal armor: "You haven't said no, just complained of Zhen."  
His lips twitch, eyes slow and cold. "You are correct. I was simply advising you."

* * *

After that tiring evening exchange, I throw open my condo door, enter, lock and bolt my door. The last thing I need is Zhen, Uncle Dun or my father to let themselves in now. What I need to do is work out some tension, due to that Yi. I need to jack-off. I leave my loafers and the leather case holding the papers Yi gave me days ago at the foyer.  
The loafers are tossed on the floor and papers placed more gingerly on small wood coffer.  
As I take off my suit, it gets folded over the back of the chair at the desk by the foyer. It's in that black leather chair I that I sit in as I force my mind to wander, musing over what _should_ have happened.  
I'm back university, in one of those econ or stats classes Yi worked as a teacher's assistant in so often, while he did grad studies.  
Sima Yi's polite enough and often soft spoken, with speech and knowledge that betray his high competence and his disdain for those less so.  
That basically means he hates everyone except me.  
For this reason I manage to monopolize him. He's fascinated to the point he starts spending all of his hours with me.  
He tries and insists on rendezvousing with me whenever he can. Now I barely have free time.  
One day at class we debate and carry on long enough the professor lets us stay after he  
leaves. He tells Yi to lock the door. Yi walks him to the door and obliges. After Yi's walked back I expect him to resume our discussion.

He doesn't, and I can't as his mouth presses over mine. I'd been siting on that sturdy wood desk from class. Yi presses to me so that he can get pressure from my knee against his crotch. I run one hand from the back of his neck to the small of his spine.  
The hot air of his pleasured moan rushes into my mouth. Yi parts his lips, to invite my tongue into him. He's warm and moist and marked by the sharp sweet taste of mint and fennel. This is too much for him and he begins furiously grinding himself on my leg.  
I tug at his hair and manage to pry him back so I can speak. He's unbelievably warm and I see Yi's nipples hard and red beneath his crisp white button up.  
I speak his name and he responds by saying if I could:  
_please please just go ahead and let__ him blow me and he is so sorry to be acting this uncouth but he'd__ simply burn to death with desire if I don't go ahead and fuck him and__ fill him and please please Pi just oblige me and do it_.  
I can't say no to a face like, saying such dirty words. I loosen my grip and let him slide off my lap.  
Once he's down from the desk he steps back and begins to strip for me.  
His swollen red, kiss bruised lips tremble as he clumsily undoes the buttons of his shirt and let's it slide down. He looks down as he takes off his belt and shoes. When his undergarments and slacks drop I can take a good look at him and appreciate the curve of his ass, his pert bright tits, the hardness of his cock and the warm pink flush his skin has. The blood flow must be insane. He watches me while I watch him.

I unzip the front of my jeans and wrap my hand around my cock. Yi's breath is deep as he closes the distance and comes to kneel at my feet, with his precious little face buried at my crotch. He tugs and licks at the shaft of my penis before bring his lips to press at the glans head. I unconsciously hold my breath as Yi begins swirling his tongue over my penis's tip, before slowly taking it into his mouth. I place my hand at the back of his head and nudge him to take my cock further in. His teeth scrape lightly as I rub against the ridges on the roof of his mouth.  
The wet orifice spasms around me as Yi holds back the impulse to choke, but he doesn't pull back. Instead he tries to steady himself and get adjusted. He starts to pleasure himself, jerking his own cock and fingering his ass. By now I'm impatient, the blood in my penis making the throbbing and the heat unbearable.

Yi caused this and is solely responsible.

I shove his face forward so he takes me down into his esophagus. He jerks and moans and I feel the delicious vibrations travel down my nerves; Yi still doesn't try to pull away.  
He starts willing the muscle groups involved in swallowing to constrict and tighten. I start tugging at his hair and stop watching him as I shut my eyes to concentrate on the slick heat tightening around me as he bobs his head along my cock.  
The feeling's amazing as I lay back on the desk and let Yi continue his ministrations.  
Yi stops abruptly.  
The moment this registers, I dart back up ready to interrogate him over what he thinks he just did. The sight that greets me causes a change of plans.  
Yi's on the floor on all fours with his face flushed and eyes hooded, his cock engorged. His palms and his cheek are pressed to the floor; he has his legs spread and his soft ass pushed high into the air.  
All in all he looks like a rutting cat.

I heroically ignore my condition long enough to go and kneel behind him. I grab and spread one of the cheeks of his ass.  
"Is this your way of telling me what you want my Sima? Kitten?" Before Yi can answer, I shove three fingers down his hole.  
Yi can't help the yowl that rips from his throat. I pull my fingers out and give his ass a hard slap before getting on him, ready to ride him. There's just one thing I want to do first. I breath into his ear: "my Sima Yi".  
Yi nods furiously and pushes his hips back so his ass presses to my cock.  
Right then I fuck him, I enter him, I penetrate him, I quickly try to go as far into Yi's svelte body as I can. He tosses back his head and moans loudly, like a cat in heat. I pump in and out of him as harshly as I can. Yi's loud enough that one could easily think he's being killed weren't it words like _more_ and_ oh,yes, yes_. My breathing gets harsher as Yi gets louder and tighter. The mental and physical stimulation are too much and _I have no self control_, right now.

I come

onto my desk. I start to catch my breath and slow my heart beat. My hand's dirty and cramped, my suits wrinkled from my laying my head against it, even the desk and carpet need a cleaner; _just fuck_ it.  
I breath, exhale, and vaguely hope Yi has never actually done that with anyone.

* * *

Ffffff, Cao Pi, you have a dirty mind. Oh, wait, I wrote that. Porno: my favorite way to do characterization!

This was the first part of the story written, everything before now was how long it took me to have an excuse to post this.

Author's Note: I should clarify that the second half is **not** a flash back, but instead Cao Pi fantasizing.


	7. Pleasure Principle R18

Pleasure Principle

"I don't know what to do of that boy, He."  
_In what sense do you mean,Yi? _my finger tips brush the hair from my ears and then fiddle with the bluetooth device on my ear.  
"This _personal_ circumstance I'm in is getting a bit too convoluted for my tastes. And that is all thanks to Cao Pi." I put down the book I'd had, to walk to my kitchen for a glass of water.  
_Yi, you're a little too harsh toward him. After all, Cao Pi's playing head-hunter and giving Sir Cao Cao your resume is the reason Wei's gotten the joy of working with your brilliant self!  
_I can't help my laughter at Zhang He's last bit. "True, true." I nod, knowing no one can see me (like I'd need the voyeurism of a video chat added to my life.) "But, that doesn't change his current behavior. No, actually it makes me question what his motives were back then." I hear light laughter on He's end of the phone.  
_You think too much for your own good, Yi_

* * *

There's a knock at my door; Cao Pi is just like a Swiss watch at times. It would be exceedingly rude to ignore Cao Pi, that and He is right that I enjoy Pi's company.  
I shut my book and get the door for him.  
"Cao Pi, sir, have you come for a specific reason today, or just my company?"  
I hadn't meant to sound so supercilious, right then.  
Pi exhales and speaks too calmly for his stern visage.  
"It's just your company that I desire, Yi."  
There is a foreboding feeling in hearing those words said, but we have to confront this _issue_ before it hinders us. I open my door fully to let Pi in, being certain to leave ample space between us.  
Pi lets himself in, offering to get me either tea or liquor. Both of those are gifts he gave me, on separate occasions.  
I request the alcohol, knowing I'll need to loosen my tongue.  
I return to the living room, trying to resume reading, to no avail. When Pi arrives, he sets my drink in front of me and takes a seat by me. His hands fold in his lap.  
I lift the glass tumbler to my lips, swallow.  
He perks up to look at me, smirking: "Try to sip, Yi; and give that liqueur time to unfold on your palate."  
"Cao Pi, you are not here to discuss alcohol with me." Once again, I sound too snide. This nervousness often does that.  
Even sans eye contact, I know his expression right now is more considerate than it should be given my behavior.  
His hand goes on to my forearm; I'm not in the mood to swat it off.  
"Pi?"  
"Yi, how long has it been since you've had another to care for you? Please you?" he says, hand softly tightening it's grip.  
So Cao Pi has devised a new angle to attack me from.  
I take a sip of the liquor again.  
"Those are non-issues, Pi."  
Pi moves to graze my knee.  
"Yi, this won't be a risk to you or Wei. I'll see of that."  
He holds my jaw, stroking my cheek bone's arch. I ought to stop him, verbally or physically, but this gentle contact provides me some comfort.  
Simply put, this feels nice and I don't want to end it.  
"Sima Yi, it's your move. Answer what you desire."  
I leave my eyes shut, letting him continue giving me his attention.  
"I'm sorry, Pi. This has to be cut short. I need to finish reading some data over, to protect Wei's current investments."  
He arises to leave.  
"I see, thank you for your diligence. I'll hear from you on Monday, Yi."  
After some thought, I nod.

* * *

My... current actions have nothing to do with Cao Pi or his comments. No, it has more to do with an impulse, a basic human urge. _Libido_ doctors call it.  
I was planing to wash my bedsheets tonight any ways. I undress and lay down, letting a hand snake to my crotch. I leave it lingering there for a moment before _touching_ myself. I move my hand to the head, noting that perhaps mental stimulation could help. But what? There is what Pi suggested, and Pi's certainly attractive enough; besides there is no harm in merely considering a possible scenario.  
So what would that romp be like? Hmm, Pi's first moves are predictable enough.  
He'd push me back, onto his or my bed. Pi would strip our clothing, mine more quickly than his. Or he may settle for just removing our pants and briefs.  
His hands would roam down my body, trying to take and grab. His movements...would be strong and smooth, vaguely forceful. I spit into my palms, wanting to get rid of the friction of movement against my skin as I touch. I'd imagine that _that arrogant Cao Pi_ would insist that he remain on top of me. My pulse quickens and temperature builds, in response to these physical sensations of course.  
I jerk off and prod into myself. So, what would Pi do; I wonder. I tweak at and brush my nipples, imagining he pins me. My legs spread, I reach further down. Now... Cao Pi seems like he would be into bondage.  
I imagine my wrists bound, restrained behind my back, while my legs are pushed apart and folded toward my body.  
My back arches as my ankles are tied down so as to keep me exposed.  
Pi's hand covers my eyes. His mouth - no he wouldn't kiss- covers my jaw, then my Adam's apple. I exhale as he moves his mouth lower, over my ribcage and to my naval. His hands run down and grip my sides.  
Pi looks up, smirking: "Sima Yi, _look_."  
I curve my back, to see his face at my crotch.  
"Cao Pi?" His mouth, his mouth takes my cock in. I moan aloud, to give him some reward. Cao Pi keeps sucking and working his tongue along my shaft. He grips me and then runs his fingers down, massaging my testicles. Cao Pi continues pleasuring me. Intermittently, I make requests as to _what_ he should do and _how_. He heeds them, and I can't help but moan and thrash.  
I can't help the arousal or climax that this stimulation gives me. Having Cao Pi tend to me is such an intriguing thought...  
Now, of course, all of that was just a mental exercise. But, I'm onto something. The current state of affairs in Wei is becoming increasingly complex:  
Pi's untested and may well be in over his head, so the closer I am to advise him the better. That will require greater involvement and investment than what one usually gives an employee...and how to better get it than the arrangement Pi's insisted on.  
After all, I can't just let myself go frolicking about without a rational end.

* * *

**pleasure principle:** Sigmund Freud applied the term pleasure principle to individuals' attempts to maximize their short-run pleasure and minimize or postpone their short-run pain, a notion that is compatible with the concepts of _hedonism_, _utilitarianism_ and _Homo economicus._

AN: I swear that the last part of this is the strangest thing I've written... but I finally got time to finish and post!  
BTW, last chapter got a quick illustration at the link in my profile.


	8. Uncertainties

Market Uncertainty

While stuck in traffic a few blocks away from Wei's office, I try to wrap my head around _that_ problem. How exactly am I supposed to seduce Pi, again? All the straight forward ways seem too much like Zhen Ji's thing, and anything else is so subtle as to most likely go unnoticed. It's such a bothersome problem. What exactly about me got him this caught up? When did I first catch his attentions, again?

The only thing I ever did was provide instruction, first through his university and, then when Cao Cao hired me and requested it.

It's a possibility, though a doubtful one, that Pi may have a kink for that; _for someone to instruct him_. No, that's too out of character for Pi.  
But I would enjoy it if he did.

Cao Pi was much more respectful in the beginning, most likely out of fear of the consequences of harassing university personnel.

I purse my lips and drum my fingers on the car's wheel.

I feel tempted to turn of the radio when financial news airs. It's not that I dislike the program; so much as that I don't want to have to deal with news of investors' panicked animal spirits while I'm still trying to figure out Pi's and my animal urges.

But, obligation and practicality require that I do deal with those animal spirits, and Cao Pi...

* * *

Yi's finally arrived, late by his standards. There is no one who I would stand wait in the main lobby for. Well, nobody else (or at least very few others). And I am only standing here, being gawked at by peons, because I need some answers from Sima. About the markets, and if he'll let me screw him.

The minute I sit down a flurry of cloth in a white hat rushes by.

There is no way Yi can get away with just missing me like that after I've had to sit and wait.

"Sima Yi!"

He spins on his heel and then nods to me.

"Cao Pi."

"Come with me, we have to discuss what you're doing and _you_ have to make up for the time you've cost me."

A scowl flashes on Yi's face, but he still nods and follows me to the private elevator.

During the first few floors we pretend to ignore each other.  
That gets old at floor fifteen.  
I want my answers before I have to hand Yi over to the rest of Wei's chief officers.  
"Yi-" Sima cuts me off.  
"The sell-offs were indiscriminate; Wei was _not _targeted any more than equivalent firms."  
I inspect his face more closely, noting the vexation in his fine brows.  
"No, Sima that's not it. I'm not holding you responsible for what happened with stocks today. What I wanted to know was this: will you go out with me after work?"  
"Are you still trying to sleep with me, Cao Pi?" There is that incredulous tone to his voice, again.  
"Yes, but I am also concerned about you as my friend. I'd imagine that hearing about the markets did a number on your health."  
I playfully jostle his shoulder and chuckle at myself, waiting for Yi to join me. And he does, laughing a bit before he speaks.  
"You have no idea, Pi. You should have seen me during the '08 crisis."  
"You really are something, Sima."  
"I'll see tonight, Pi."  
The elevator pings and the door opens. I point Yi to our "war room", he knows what I mean as he nods and goes to set up in it. I summon our top officers for Yi's impromptu briefing. This will be along day at work.  
But, Yi and I's date should be a proverbial carrot on a stick for us both. For me at least.

* * *

This... should be _easier_ than I'd thought possible; hooking up with Cao Pi that is, not maneuvering those blasted markets.  
I text him innocuously, the moment I finish the last task I'd set out to for the day.  
The message is just to let him know I'm done, and that he can meet me at my office if he would like. With my timing the building ought to be empty save for us.  
I check my watch as I sit, wondering why that boy hasn't had the mind to text me back yet.  
My office door swings open, and _speak of the devil_ and he appears leaning on my door's post waving some rose around so it nearly smacks my face.  
"Sima, you're ready to go?"  
"Yes. Now stop swinging that thing around before you scratch my eye out."  
Pi pouts and drops it onto my desk.  
"I thought flowers would help me seduce you."  
"...you've seen to many Casanova movies, Pi."  
Cao Pi stands in front of my desk and pops his fingers (what an irritating sound).  
"So, Sima, when I asked you out this morning I hadn't thought you'd actually say yes... which means I don't have any reservations or tickets. Your thoughts?"  
I shake my head and finish packing my briefcase: "Heh. I am _not_ Zhen Ji, paying $300 for dinner won't help you screw me. Think up something simple, and private."  
"Don't act jealous, Yi. We could go to my place." I stand, calmly.  
"I am not jealous, but going to your apartment would be fine. I'll meet you there, I just have to feed my crows first."  
"Good. Don't stand me up or I'll have father dock your pay." Pi smiles and gets the door for me (how annoying), and I don't know just how much of his last statement was serious and how much was in jest.  
"Right, Pi. Just find a way to tell the shareholders that you pissed off your most productive employ because he skipped out on a date." I _even_ make the effort to be friendly about saying it.

* * *

Well, at least one good thing came out of crazy stock week: I may finally have this close to the point where they're screwing IRL.


	9. Trade R18

A Mutually Beneficial Transaction

I unlock my apartment door and step in to mull over my thoughts and plans on Cao Pi. It does, rightfully, strike me as strange that we are going on what others would consider a date. Or affair; but no, "affair" has a long term connotation. Perhaps "tryst" would be a better word. Ah, I never did pay enough attention to _those types_ of entries in a dictionary. And I don't know Cao Pi's full intent, in the long run. So it would be wisest if I not have any expectations in regard to him. He's curious, I'm horny. No promises, no demands.  
I try not to waste time thinking that detail over. No, instead I focus on a more practical matter: what to wear. A suit would dignify our "date" far too much. And my... planned activity would ruin said suit. I'd need to change into something casual, and take a shower. Hmm, is it good if I keep Pi waiting? It is, I suppose. Besides nothing between us is for certain now. I just need to check on some possibilities. Still, that caution doesn't stop me from feeling some excitement at the thought of rolling about in his sheets. And gaining leverage over him, of course.

* * *

This oven better work the way I think it does. There are only so many dinners that Zhen packed in my fridge. I sit in front of the oven, starring it down and _just daring _it to try and ruin this evening for me. The tables perfectly set; I have wine, candles, music. Basically everything needed for the a romantic evening, that will completely blow Sima away. Assuming that his tardiness is not because he's flaking out on me. Though that would not make sense given how blunt Sima can be, if he were not wanting to come, he'd have told me. So Yi got cold feet then? What a bother courting that man can be.  
The oven gives a chime, and from what I can tell the steaks came out well.  
There's a heavy, impatient knocking at my door. When I get to it, my guest seems under-dressed. That doesn't bother me. I'm pleased at the fact that I can boast of being the only person in Wei (aside from He, maybe) that has seen Sima Yi without a suit. How meticulous he is about his appearance only makes it more special that he shows up seeming to have just gotten out of the shower. We stand there, glancing down each other until Yi speaks.  
"Do you have any intent of letting me in, Pi?"  
"...When you're in a wet t-shirt? Certainly."

* * *

_Tch._ I should have expected that phrase from Cao Pi.  
Obnoxious as it is, it's still faltering to have Pi go after me. The arm candy he kept around him during collage was stunning enough. His romantic partners are conquests to him no doubt, arrogant boy that he is. I suppose I can compliment Pi's sense of ambition; he never has been one to go for the low hanging fruit. And, because of that I'm faltered, somewhat.

As I sit on his couch, Pi hands me a glass of some wine or another. He sits besides me, being sure not to cause too much movement in the cushions. The boy doesn't want his property ruined I'm sure. I notice he is about to speak, so I interrupt by exhaling loudly. Pi silently raises a brow and watches me as I try to get the nerve to open my mouth. I breath out again, before:  
"Cao Pi... have you noticed how I've stopped flat out rejecting your advances?"  
"Of course; I assumed that you'd finally resigned to what the rest of your life would be like, Yi."  
"_Haha._ Aren't you a jester, _Pi_?... I was trying to make a serious point." Why is this so _damned difficult_? Am I really to believe that I can address one of the world's most cut-throat boardrooms, but I can't confess to my boss' brat with out stuttering like a moron. I rest my face in the palms of my hands for a moment.  
"Yi? Is something wrong?" Pi's hand rubs my shoulder. _If I confess to him now, it'll just fulfill whatever adolescent fantasy Pi had been harboring about me_. I don't think I'll ever get over the embarrassment of this moment. Hence I keep speaking with my face buried out of his sight.  
"Cao Pi... if you cheat on your wife-"  
"It's an engagement, not a marriage, Yi."  
"...Yes. Yes it is, Pi. But... well... whatever it is you do there, that will be your funeral, not mine.  
And it wouldn't make sense for me to deprive myself out of trying to make that decision for you... Because, you know I might enjoy... being with you... in, um, a _"romantic"_ manner.  
So if you are still interested, then maybe we could...?"  
I... I think my heart is going to burst from the stress of saying all that. And I'm terrified to think of the sweat and flush I may have. Pi pushes my hands down and catches my lips quick enough that it is over before my mind can process. I blink a bit, and stare at him... I think that may have been a yes.  
"That means that today is our first date, Yi. You can come meet me at the dining room when you're ready."

_I missed the opportunity_  
_ To get you babe _  
_ To stay with me._  
_ Never thought, I'd regret _  
_ The excuses that I've made_  
_ Like a song, it will fade_

I think Cao Pi... took my saying "romantic" too seriously. If it were _just_ music or _just_ wine or _just_ a candle lit dinner _without_ Cao Pi pulling out my seat and _catering_ to my requests, I could deal with it. But all at once? _That_ is too much to believe. And Cao Pi _was not _joking about having dinner for me.  
"I have to admit I'm impressed at the effort you've made, Pi. I had no idea that you could cook. And it actually looks quite _good_." I say sounding more awe-struck than I should.  
He smirks, toasts a glass of wine and drawls: "It's good that your _impressed_, Yi."  
I pick up the fork and knife he left set besides me.  
"I was expecting take-out, Pi. However, don't say impressed in that lewd way, Pi. Just that we're, well, _dating _doesn't mean you talk to me like that."

_If there's music in the night,_  
_ And it's really, really right,_  
_ It's the only thing I need._  
_ It intoxicates your mind_  
_ All your troubles left behind_  
_ So come on and take my lead._  
_ It's not just me who feels it_  
_ Music plays a mind trick_  
_ Watch me forget about missing you_

This is new. I quietly eat a small bit, mostly I just sip the alcohol Pi served me. Should I bother acting differently towards Pi just because we're together? No, probably not; our dynamic is the reason we're together, after all. But then there's the question of how it is that we are supposed to transition from here to the bed room. Am I to just sit here until he politely asks if I'll fuck with him. I some how doubt that even Pi could be that blunt. Is the atmosphere, the music to do that job for me? No, I can't just sit here and _passively_ wait. If I've any plan to get with Pi tonight, I'll have to be the one to prompt the situation.  
"Are you playing that music in order to get me in bed, Cao Pi?"  
Pi chuckles and puts down his utensils before addressing me.  
"No, the music is on just to relax you. The wine is meant to get you in bed."  
"The wine?...did you lace it with _something_?"  
"What? No, no! Not like that."  
I chuckle and lie back.  
"_Relax_, Cao Pi. I was joking right there. I am rather full... is there anything interesting that you would like to show me, _ahm_, in your bed room."

_So I put my feelings out to dry_  
_ Love, one day again,_  
_ I'll have to try._  
_ Falling out, making up_  
_ It seems such a silly game_  
_ Why do I never gain?_

* * *

I prop my chin in my hand before responding to Yi: "Be careful about what you say Yi or I'll get the wrong idea."  
Yi scowls a bit, wrinkling his nose: "That wasn't a misunderstanding."  
I get up and stand behind him, being smooth about iit and speaking by his ear in a bedroom voice: "Is that so, Yi?" I grasp and then let go of a tendril of his hair, brushing my fingers against the side of his face. Yi shuts his eyes and I _could swear_ that I heard a soft, stifled moan. I take his hand and arise.  
"Yi, come with me now." He follows, giving a small tug on my hand.  
After all this wait, it seems I finally have _my _love's surrender.

* * *

So this will actually happen? Between me and Cao Pi? With what was said earlier, I diverged from my plans a small bit. Well, no matter; one moment of spontaneity won't kill me. I should... just still my mind and _enjoy_ myself. Pi lets go of my hand once we've passed through the bedroom door. I still mull over my thoughts, wondering what Pi's angle is on this, what is it he wants? Submission? Adoration? I don't know; it's not my concern, either way.  
I should not let myself just drift off like that; Pi pushes me up against the door and pins my mouth with his own. While I am still dazed from it all, he slides his tongue into my mouth and nips my bottom lip. His hands slip into my shirt as he rubs my sides and abdomen while working his way up to start tweaking and tapping my nipples until I feel the flesh there grow sensitive and warm under Pi's fingers. I gasp and squirm. _That boy is good.  
_"You're ready, Yi?" I nod, too excited and giddy to be quite myself.  
Pi lifts my shirt up to my clavicle and then tells me to hold it there. I oblige, we kiss. After we break apart I watch him sink lower, to my bare chest. He still has his eyes open as he begins to pant and exhale onto _my nipples_. I moan a bit at feeling that warm moisture on my skin. On hearing me, he takes one into his mouth and gently sucks._ Oh,_I should look away now, to spare us the embarrassing moment of making eye contact _right now._ But I can't_. Damn it why do I keep starring at Cao Pi's face while he does that? _I stop bothering trying to keep composure, and moan as Pi nips that sensitive bud. He glances up at the noise I've made. Pi catches my gaze with his own and holds it. I would swear my face feels hotter than it did a moment ago. Pi smirks.  
"So you have a kink for watching, don't you Sima?"  
I was about to give him a tongue lashing, but Pi grabs my crotch and all I manage is another strangled yelp.  
Pi stands to his full height and starts nipping and kissing my neck while his hand kneads my hardening dick. He kisses the shell of my ear, throatily speaking  
"That clothes of yours has to come off, Yi."  
I stand stock still against the door; Pi is right, _that_ is what I came here for after all. I exhale, and try to will my heart beat slower.  
"You'll have to move out of the way then, Pi."

Pi steps to the side, and lets me go. I feel him watch me as I turn my back to him and stand by his bed, undressing. It's just jeans and a t-shirt, so I feel no concern over leaving them on the floor. I stand there for a bit and absentmindedly tuck some hair behind my ear before laying myself on his bed. I shift about, moving my hips and back to a position that seems comfortable enough to hold for a long time. Cao Pi somehow used this time to end up at my side, undressed.  
He climbs into the bed, besides me, and presses his lips to mine.  
For all I had expected to be a conquest, Pi is oddly imploring and gentle, at the moment at least. He must take pride in wooing his targets. But I'm not one of those tarts that he plays along. I know what I'm doing (and I do it for myself):  
I know full well why I'm laying back and spreading my legs, and why I part my lips and stroke my inner thighs for him to watch. I am not being taken advantage of, or _used_; after all I can only let this arrangement go on so long as it works for me.

* * *

_My_ _Sima_ is finally in my bed, where he ought to be. Despite his lewd pose, his eyes are too bright and too cold for him to actually be lost in passion. I look on as Yi tugs and strokes his cock, thinking about how _this_ moment caught me off guard enough that I haven't got lube or a condom. Yi's jerking himself quicker, moaning and seeming to forget about my presence; right _now_ is when I want him to think of me the most. I move Yi's hands off of his cock, this gets his attention, getting him to watch me. Yi looks on with a blush and some apprehension as I climb on him and situate myself between his spread legs. He gives me a cautious glance (probably about our lack of _preparation_), before I give him a quick peck to the cheek and press my hard cock against his.  
He relaxes ( one of his questions answered) and opens his lips to sigh. I kiss. It's warm, slow and tastes to the that deep, rich wine we both drank.  
_That's it_, that's my excuse and reason. That's why right now I am all about affectionate and soft love-making, instead of thoroughly _enjoying the soft body I'm finally being allowed to fuck_. ( I'm not even sure that I should use that word _love-making_ for _us_, given Yi's sometimes Machiavellian attitude.)

Yi moans and thrashes as I move and build up the pressure I'm putting against him. There's precum and sweat on us both, and his hips jerk and thighs tremble as I grind us together, again. I try running a finger along the slit at the head of his cock, then rubbing the outside of his sphincter. Sima pants and gasps, arching his back to press _closer_ me. I feel the warmth of blood rushing faster though my body, _and_ Yi's heart beat sounds like a thundering drum when I lay my ear on his chest. I moan along with _Yi_, as a reminder to him that I'm still here.  
Sima Yi opens his eyes long enough to find me and weave his fingers through my hair, bringing my mouth to his open, inviting one.  
Well, it seems I've done _quite_ a good job at _satisfying** my**_ Sima Yi. I doubt _anyone _has taken better care of Yi's _needs_, and that's why he's mine. But I'm not being used; I know Yi, I know what he thinks. I know what he _needs_, more than any one else will. _Because of that_, he **needs** me, and I want him _to be mine so badly_.  
Yi starts to thrash and cling to me more strongly. He arches his head back gasping and muttering little explicatives. Yi yelps and trembles as he cums, sinking spent into the pillows.  
I follow after him, trying to think of and remember how arousing Sima Yi can be in an effort to get hard again. My comparative youth has it's advantages, as I'm ready to go again soon. Whether by pleasure or exhaustion, I can make Yi stay the night.

* * *

Gawds, the whole time I'm writing this I'm like FFFFFF- at how long it's taking for these two to escalate to _actually having sex_... (and that's that all they did was frot)  
and this ends up nearly 3 times the length of an average chapter.

Lyrics are from _Mindtrick by Jamie Cullun_.  
To Freakuness: Thanks for sending me the song and happy late-birthday-porns!


	10. Counting Sheep

Counting Sheep

That was _nice_. Having Yi curl up by my side, give a few warm breaths and give in to sleep is_ almost_ as good. When he nuzzles my chest in response to my touching his hair, _that_ is better.  
_Perfect_.  
There's just one thing we're missing.  
"Yi, _kitten_-"  
There's a hoarse, drowsy "I am **not** _a kitten_, _Cao Pi_."  
"_Hm,_why? You need a pet name, now that we're a couple. I _want_ to call you something that no one else does."  
"_Hmph_, we've only been a couple for a few hours..." There's a playful enough tone in his voice, followed by a languid yawn.  
"Not true, if you count how long we've known each other. In that case, we're practically married."  
"_Hm,_ I do not believe that those years are even partial credit. But if giving me _some _name matters to you so, go ahead."  
Yi stretches. I exhale on the top of his head and drum my fingers along his back as I think up a name.

"Doe? Kitten? Dove?" Zhen responded well to those, didn't she? But, there's no soft giggles or sighs in response _now_.  
"Is this some joke, Pi? Or have you forgotten that you did not pick me up from a pet store?"  
So Yi's unamused by those names?That's one difference that I can count between him and her.  
"_Mm_, sorry, babe." Yi flinches.  
"...That new name is even worse, _Pi_...Is this truly _necessary_?" I grip Yi to me and speak into his ear.  
"For me, it is. If you don't like those names, do you have something to suggest, Yi?" He sighs, and is silent a moment.  
"_Zhongda_. It... is my middle name... I don't think anyone else in the world calls me by it, though." I take a look at his face.  
"_Zhongda_? That's good; and, so long as we're using obscure middle names, call me _Zihuan_."  
"May we _please_ just go to sleep now?" I lay there, clutching _Zhongda_ to my side.  
"Yeah."

* * *

Well, this isn't really a chapter; more like a vignette. But it gives an excuse to start using their style-names without having to confront the fact that style-names aren't that used in the modern US. That, and Sima gets called _kitten_.


	11. Ceteris Paribus

Ceteris paribus

Latin expression for "other things being equal." The term is used in economic analysis when the analyst wants to focus on explaining the effect of changes in one (independent) variable on changes in another (dependent) variable without having to worry about the possible offsetting effects of still other independent variables on the dependent variable under examination. For example, "an increase in the price of beef will result, _ceteris paribus_, in less beef being sold to consumers." [Putting aside the possibility that the prices of chicken, pork, fish and lamb simultaneously increased by even larger percentages, or that consumer incomes have also jumped sharply, or that CBS News has just announced that beef prevents AIDS, etc. - an increase in the price of beef will result in less beef being sold to consumers.

* * *

Other Things Held Constant

Waking up in someone's,_ well,_ in _Zihuan's_ arms is not a sensation that should be entirely unpleasant but...  
"How was your sleep, Zhongda?"  
Ah, so subject of my thoughts has noticed that I am awake, and he himself is also awake.  
"Cao Pi, I need-"  
He puts a finger over my lips momentarily as he speaks.  
"It's _Zihuan_; remember?"  
**This** is what I got myself into.  
"Hush me again and I'll bite your finger off,_ Zihuan_." I try to hold his hand or do some other affectionate gesture in order to soften the blow of my warning. Though I was serious in saying that.  
"Is that foreplay I hear, Yi?" Pi brushes my bottom lip, and cheek.  
"What- no. By the way, Zihuan, I really must to make use of your-"  
Pi starts bothering my neck, speaking throatily between nips: "_Hm,_So you want to go for another round already?"  
I place my hand on his chest and push Pi away to gain some distance.  
The look of shock on his face is not what I had meant for. _Great_, at just a few hours old my relationship is already in damage control mode.  
"What's wrong, Zhongda?"  
I sigh and loop my hands around the back of his neck, brushing a few strands of hair.  
"Zihuan, it's just that I am... covered in ...ah, how do I say this?_ Hours old semen_. I _need_ to bathe, now."  
And a shit eating grin lights up his face:  
"I need a bath, too. Let's be "_efficient_" and bathe together."  
Does Pi really think that calling any random action _efficient_ will make me approve of it? That is a terrible use of the word _efficient_. And, I need to pick my own words more wisely. But, remember, Yi, _damage control_.  
"...fine."

* * *

For how insistent he'd been on getting his bath, Yi doesn't just get up and follow along. No, he sits up while clutching my blankets over his lap.  
"Cao Pi, hand me my clothing?"  
After how willing _Zhongda_ was to flaunt that body of his last night, this modesty seems uncalled for.  
"The shower is near by. And..." _ ...I want to stare at your bare ass_ "you can just walk over here in the nude; I don't mind, Yi."  
"**I** do mind, so I won't. I'll just use your sheets to cover myself. Um, Zihuan, perhaps you ought to put on some clothes yourself."  
"You do know that the shower is right behind this door, _and_ that we'll be bathing naked." Yi gets up and walks over to me, a navy sheet wrapped tightly about his waist.  
"Just open the door, Pi."

I hear Sima Yi pacing about the washroom while I adjust the waters's temperature. It's good enough now.  
I step in, "Zhongda, come join me in here." He gives a mildly incredulous look to my beckoning hand before responding "remember that we're doing this in order to get _clean_, Cao Pi" and then dropping the cover down from his waist. Zhongda at least has the _mercy_ to stand there long enough that I can get a good look at his body.  
Yi tentatively sets foot into the shower holding onto the railing to avoid slipping.  
"I'll assume that I can use these soaps?" Yi says motioning to some bottles Zhen had left.  
"Actually those are- Well, yes. Use whatever you'd like.  
...I'm sure you'll need some help in reaching your back. Let me take care of that,_Zhongda._"  
"I... guess that's a offer I can accept." Yi slowly responds turning his back to me and starring at the wall that is now in front of his face.  
_Yeah_, we'll get clean, eventually.

Yi silently gives in to my touches as I shift his neck and shoulders to better wash that black mane of his. I decide on a soap that smells to an _almost_ sweet balsam. It suits him; realizing that I'll have control over how Sima Yi smells for the rest of the day is infinitely amusing. I think Zhongda finally trusts what I am doing- as I run my hands through his hair- he shuts his eyes to relax and props his forehead against the showers' stone.  
I work my way further down. How far along will he let me go?  
There's no complaints as I move to his neck and shoulders. I stroke the base of his neck and then trace his clavicle, to see how he reacts.  
I'm hoping Yi will give me some of those sweet little shudders and moans of his, but no. His affect is too flat. I try harder.  
I move closer, so that my chest is centimeters away from pressing against Yi's back. I slide my hands from his raised arms to his chest. Zhongda flinches slightly; his nipples start going stiff under my hands as I "wash" his chest.  
"Cao P- Zihuan?"  
"Yeah?"  
"What exactly are you doing?"  
"Relax. I'm just helping you get that sweat off your skin."  
"Ah...alright." Yi doesn't ask what I'd need to scrub down his tits for,exhales and goes back to resting his forehead on the wall. His skin pricks in anticipation.  
Finally.  
Getting to see Yi like this- skin gleaming, droplets trailing along his spine and smooth thighs a bit parted- is still such a rush of blood. And it seems my body agrees.I grab his sides, letting my hands run down to hover above his waist. Zhongda finally lets out that moan I'm sure he's been holding all along.  
Yi thrusts his hips forward as he feels my hand travel down south.  
"What do you think you're doing, Zhongda?"  
"_Ugh_... damn you,_ Zihuan_. Don't pretend not to know what you're doing. **Continue**." Oh, so he's being demanding? I grab his thigh, press flush against his back and grind on his pert ass. Yi hisses a soft _ahhhh_ in response. I'll play with him a little; speaking by his ear:  
"_Continue_ what, Yi? Getting you cleaned up? So, what do we need to scrub down after last night? Your legs? Your thighs? That sweet ass of yours?" I slap him, hard enough his flesh goes red.  
Yi yelps and turns his head back: "Zihuan, you **_fucking_ idiot**. Just, do something, **now**."  
I squeeze his ass before slipping a finger into-  
"_Fool_! I'm- that's dry. Just, **touch** me instead."  
"Yi, I want you to_ let me put my dick in you. Please_, just use conditioner as lube. Or something." I jerk him; he arches his back.  
"_Ohh_- absolutely not." He moans and thrusts into my hand.  
"_Damn_. Yi, I need you to do something. Spread your thighs."  
Yi cooperates, cautiously glancing over his shoulder. He stops that when I start running my hand between his legs. I thrust between his thighs, rubbing against his balls and grabbing Yi's dick while at it.  
"_Mmm_!" It sounds like** now** my Zhongda knows what I'm doing.  
My face rests at the back of his neck. Zhongda moves his body back against mine, creating some warmth. Strands of his wet hair catch into my mouth as I speak. I should get used to that.  
"Squeeze your thighs, _Zhongda_." I keep fumbling the head of his cock. He's panting, with his hands braced on the wall. Yi shakes his hair and clenches his thighs, just like I asked. I keep slamming against him, jerking Yi in time with myself. He gasps. My free hand somehow ended up entwined with his; our fingers interlocking as his palm rests on the wall. He moans beneath me. I continue, this will be a nice way to-  
"We- _we, ahh_!- still have to, to clean. _Oh, After-_ after this. _Zihuan! Ah, ah. _Again!_ Zihuan! Zihua-!" _Yi spasms, and shoots himself into my hand while the muscles of his legs tremble and clench. I spill onto his thighs-  
_"Zhongda," _I kiss the back of his neck and squeeze his hand, "Zhongda, why couldn't you have said something_ **hot**, or romantic?"_  
Yi heaves as he catches his breath.  
"Cao Pi, _shut up_." Yi spins about to catch my mouth with his.  
I can't say I'm complaining.

* * *

That... was an interesting turn of events. Unplanned, mind you, but pleasant. Staying over with Cao Pi isn't that bad, after all. I sit at his kitchen table, wearing some bath robe Pi gave me, and sipping some coffee that he also made for me. It's not that bad.  
Cao Pi, or _Zihuan_ as he now wants me to call him, gets back from the kitchen and sits by me. He touches my hair and shoulders a bit; I have no idea why. I look up to him, he just stares intently. I... should say something, make small talk.  
"The park out your window certainly does seem empty for it being the weekend, don't you think?"  
Pi pricks a brow before responding to me in a flat tone:  
"Zhongda, its Tuesday."  
"..._shit_, I'm late! Why didn't you warn me? Shouldn't you be getting ready for _work_!"  
"Don't worry, I texted Dun that we would be out sick today, and tomorrow."  
"_We_... you said **_we_**?"  
"Yeah."  
"Oh_ fuck_- I **need **to get to the office."

* * *

There's nothing _wrong_ per se with me sneaking into my office. I... still get the same work done, so it's no "issue" if I am a small bit late today. And it is no one's business as to _why_ I am late. Except for one person, that I must talk to. I dial Zhang He.  
"He, I order you to report to my office at once."

"Yiii~, weren't you and Pi out today?" He plays with a strand of his hair.  
"What? No." This _issue_ is a little harder to discuss than I'd thought it would be.  
"But Cao Pi called in for you... Yi." He says, with an unnecessary grin. This is a bother. _Why_ did I choose to talk to Zhang He about this again?  
"I didn't know. That must be coincidence." I fidget, adjusting my cufflinks.  
"Soooo... what happened?" And again, He is with that needless curiosity.  
"Uh, nothing. Pi gave me the flu."  
"That is a terrible choice of euphemism! The _flu_, really?"  
"I wasn't using _flu_ as a euphemism, He! Nothing really went on..."  
"Oh, come on Yi, you have the cutest blush right now. Something big happened." He's... clever about this.  
"That- that's a flu blush." What have I dug myself into?  
"Yi~, don't bother trying to trick me about this. Come on, tell!"  
I do need to talk; and that is why I called He here.  
"Pi and I got together last night and we... also this morning, in the shower. I told him that I _wanted_ to be with him. I think I am his... _mistress_ now."  
"You're a couple? That's adorable! What made you see Pi was the one? Why'd you confess your love?"  
Is this serious? This would be the perfect moment to insert a face palm.  
"He! I need help,_ that's_ my boss' son, and he's engaged to a woman _who's your friend_. And Cao Pi is... a dear friend of mine.  
I- I just had to go and complicate my life's plans by spreading my legs like that.  
Just tell, how badly did I fuck up?"  
Things are still, for a moment, before He speaks up:  
"Yi... we're _Wei_, all of our personal relationships are complicated like that. Just... take a deep breath and take this one step at a time: do you want to be with _him_?"  
I follow He's instructions before answering.  
"If this were _ceteris paribus_, then yes."  
"Good. That's all you need to worry about when making your choice.  
Oh, another bit of advice, Yi: Borrow my scarf. You have all these little love bites on your neck."

* * *

I think I just figured out how to make my writing into even more of a 24/7 Porn-Fest.

...Yi is such a girl, with how I write him during sex.


	12. Asymmetric Information

On Exploiting Asymmetric Information

Once I've gotten to Wei's headquarters, I have the luck to almost make it into my office undetected, but then Uncle_ has to_ notice.  
"Cao Pi! Why did you send me that text, when clearly both you and Sima Yi aren't ill?"  
I put my briefcase down on the desk between us and proceed to look busy.  
"We were ill, Uncle. It's the reason we're late."  
Xiahou Dun peers over at the blank papers I'm shuffling.  
"If Sima Yi were giving me that excuse for anything other than an office party, I would trust him. But am I supposed to believe that the first thing _he_ does when sick is call his friend? Was that text of yours meant as a prank? Pi, you know that your father won't like your failing to take running **his** business seriously."  
I put down my pile of empty papers, and look uncle square in the eye.  
"That wasn't a joke, Uncle. I knew Sima Yi would be late because he spent the night with me. He left around 10 am, so he must have gotten here around what, 10:30? "  
Uncle backs off : "You should have mentioned that you knew. If Yi actually felt ill enough to want someone else's care last night then he shouldn't be here now. Send him home when you see him."  
I bite down the urge to tell Uncle that _our_ _night_ wasn't exactly like that.  
"Yes, Uncle...but, I don't think it's a good idea to send him off on his own. Honestly, the man was so feverish this morning that I'm surprised he could drive here safely."  
Dun pinches the bridge of his nose: "Was he, now? That Sima Yi should understand there's a reason he's given sick days. We can't have him crash on his way home... Pi, you said you were taking care of him last night? You may be contagious. Get him home now and see that he doesn't get worse."  
I put my papers back into their brief case and close it.  
"Yes, sir. I'll just drop these papers off, and then get Yi."

"Zhen, dear, I don't think you ought to visit me today. Sima Yi is quite ill, and Dun thinks I should take care of him. I imagine he'll be very infectious."  
Zhen shifts away from her computer, to look at me quizzically.  
"Love, Sima's _so_ ill that _Dun_ wants him out of the office?"  
"Apparently Uncle fears it may become a legal issue if he crashes. Dun wants me driving him home."  
She taps a pencil with her finger nails, making a soft clacking.  
"And Dun wants _you_ to take care of Sima Yi? Baby, that's strange..."  
I lean over to peck Zhen: "It is strange, dove, but we are Wei."  
And now I'm off.

I wonder if I should knock Yi's door first?  
I walk in after just swinging it open, all the better to see what Yi occupies his time with. He stares up from the computer he'd been typing at, seeming less than excited to see me.  
"Cao Pi, sir, is there something that you require of me?"  
"Yes, _Zhongda_. Pack your things. You get to spend the day off with me."  
Yi stops typing in favor of glaring at me and saying: "I apologize, Cao Pi, but did you forget that we both have a job to do? It's something that I at least value." Well, Yi doesn't know what I _actually _have been told. So here goes:  
I sigh and click my tongue before stalking over to talk to Yi more privately:  
"You see, Zhongda, that's the thing. After Dun got my text that you had been _severely_ ill, well he believed me. He... then became livid upon realizing that you came here to infect everyone else. You'd better go _now_ if you want to stay in Wei's good graces."  
Yi's eyes widen as he begins to shut down his computer.  
"...**_damnit_**, Zihuan. What monster did I create when I told you that selectively controlling information was a _good_ thing? You do know that all my data and programs are on this computer? You've essentially just damned me to having to stay late the rest of the week."  
I flick a strand of hair that had fallen on Yi's forehead.  
"And I'll stay with you then, Zhongda."  
He grabs some files as his Computer shuts down.  
"That does not help in avoiding suspicion!"  
I close in and pick up Yi's brief case for him:  
"Relax, Zhongda. Oh, and that little blue scarf your wearing? It's very _cute_, maybe we can tie it around your wrists when we get home."  
"Enough! Cao P-"  
I kiss him, _just_ to make sure Yi looks flushed and fevered enough to make this ruse convincing.

* * *

_Finally_. I can't get into Cao Pi's apartment soon enough.  
Not out of desire or lust, but that then we can stop this idiot charade.  
The minute I am inside I take the damned scarf off.  
"There, Cao Pi, there. It's all because of _you_ that He gave me that scarf."  
Pi puts my case down before locking and bolting the door.  
"I don't understand your complaint, Yi. Did He give you that scarf as a_ "congratulations for finally getting laid"_ present? If not, I don't see what I have to do with it."  
I shift out of my stifling blazer, and crane my neck to show the series of circular bruises on it.  
"I would have had nothing to hide if you hadn't _mauled_ me last night."  
I think I may have smirked for a moment, by mistake. Pi comes over, put his hands on my shoulders, and peer at my neck.  
"That's... a bit worse than I'd meant to. Sorry, Zhongda." Oh? What was that in his voice, _remorse_? How _cute_.  
"_Heh._ You should _see_ the ones covered by my shirt. I mean really, Zihuan?" I wrap my hands about the back of Pi's neck, now that he's _close_ enough, running one into the hair at the base of his neck.  
"I could be _gentle_ with you, Zhongda. If you prefer." Pi is _actually __taking this seriously_!  
"_Hmmm_. No, I don't prefer."  
"Does this mean we can use that scarf on you in bedroom?"  
"If I still feel like it this evening, yes. But, first I must change out of this.  
_in_ _private_, Zihuan."

Well, Zihuan's left me at his couch to filp through channels while waiting for him to get back from the kitchen. He even _did_ let me change in peace. Into an outfit he choose. Of one of his old work shirts, missing the top buttons, and _too small_ black bicycle shorts that I _hope_ belong to Miss Zhen instead of Pi.  
You win some, lose some.

* * *

_There we go_. That's the sight I wanted to see. Ebony hair tossed over a shoulder, a too large button up riding down to reveal a clavicle, and shorts small enough you can't tell they're there. Actually, it's a sight I'd _want_ to see whenever opening my apartment's door.  
Yi flips through channels until stopping at some cinema, about ancient China from the look of it.  
I clear my throat:  
"Yi, your drink."  
He takes the glass of water with an outstretched had, and then tips it to his lips.  
"...I can't believe you actually always ask for plain water, Zhongda."  
"That's because it's too early for alcohol, day off or not. After all, some of us like to keep a sense of _discipline_." Yi speaks while running his foot briefly up my calf, so that I get a _nice_ view of him.  
Discipline? I sometimes get the feeling that Zhongda's trying to make awkward innuendos.  
I shrug and sip my scotch.  
"As you like it, Zhongda."

* * *

This is pointless, Zihuan's and my just reclining on his sofa during a Tuesday afternoon. I know that most would describe doing such with a _lover_ as pleasant, which I do not deny it is. I just remind myself of the prior, to avoid becoming too caught up by the later.  
Still, I sigh before deciding that Pi won't mind if I lie myself on him. Simply out of idle boredom...

"Yi, that girl playing the enemy commander's quite hot. She reminds me of someone..."  
I'd forgotten the movie. After turning my head off Pi's chest to see what he's talking about, I just give an exasperated: "Not this again, Pi. Don't make some comparison to one of the secretary's asses. I do not want to hear that."  
Zihuan grins and nudges my ribs.  
"Don't get jealous _Zhongda_. I was actually thinking that_ if_ **you** were a girl in ancient china, you'd be her."  
Is that Zihuan thinking this is a normal way to start a conversation with me? These topics are too strange.  
"If I were a _Chinese girl_? Does this type of thought come naturally to you?"  
"Zhongda, the similarities are obvious. She even acts like you."  
That appraisal is accurate... if offensive, but:  
"Pi, they said her name was Cao Ying. That wouldn't be _me_." I have the upper hand, now.  
"Of course it would. Ying, Yi; and that Cao must mean that you'd be my wife." Pi begins to run his hand up the back of my borrowed shirt.  
"You think that your Three Kingdoms self would have better luck with me?"  
I pull my legs to me so I rest almost completely in front of Pi's lap.  
"I would,Zhongda, because I'd be emperor."  
I tilt my head up at Zihuan.  
"_Heh_. So your having power would mean I _automatically_ want to ride your dick? I thought you knew that wasn't true about _me_. " I... run my fingers under his chin, just for enjoyment.  
Pi shrugs, "I'd find a way to make you mine, remember I'm emperor." He takes my wrist and holds it before his face before brushing his lips to it.  
"_Hmm_. Zihuan, after that last bit I am certainly am glad that you're not emperor." I return my hand to my side.  
"But I would take very good care of you _Zhongda_..."  
Zihuan pulls me by the hand, onto his lap.  
"What you mean, Zihuan, is that I would be your favorite pet."  
He begins to kiss my neck. I grind myself down on him.  
"No; or at least I would care more for you and your talents than any other emperor ever could."  
I tilt my head to the side so Zihuan can access my flesh. I run a hand through his bangs.  
"_Hmph_, now isn't that _generous_ of you? Tell me, as it is... a cause for concern, or confusion, at the least: do you... often think of me as a _girl_? Be honest, Zihuan."  
Pi places a firm kiss on my jaw, runs his hands between my thighs.  
"No...but I do think of how **_amazing_** you would look in stilettos, a silk dress, and lace panties."  
He _slips _his hand over to start stroking where my decidedly not-female parts are.  
"_Ahhh- Fuck you_, Zihuan. Do not- debate me when your hand is on my crotch. _Cheat._"  
"It'd be _fun_ for the both of us. _You'd _be _perfect_ at it, with some red lipstick, your waist and _those _childbearing hips."  
I push myself up to look at him.  
"...Zihuan, I'm a **man**. We don't have childbearing hips."  
He pulls me back down to him.  
"_Shhh. _Yi, sorry.I'd meant that- you'd_ love it_, having me _dote_ on that body of yours."  
His breath's throaty as I sit myself on him. Zihuan's hands roam under the waistband of those damned shorts. I should get us on a productive track, be the responsible adult; but-  
I let myself move and sink into him.  
Inconsequential. That is what all of this is, inconsequential.

* * *

So... this feels a little incomplete and pointless, but I feel I ought to post something (after all this time). Hopefully it was a fun read.  
And... now I have to remember where the plot was going in the first place.  
Having finished this at 4 am does not help, but this is the last day I can post before classes restart.

Oh, and the movie mentioned is _Three Kingdoms: Resurrection of the Dragon_. Definitely not a date movie, but a beautiful one. There's a post at the tumblr link at my profile.


End file.
